Discussion in 'Reality Check' started by ingress, Feb 10, 2009.
Lol, someone bought me this book for Christmas.
PS: I'd walk over and start conversation then introduce the wingman.
I'd approach the girl on the left, because she's drinking, and make a joke about the bartenders mouth being stitched up.
Bring the glasses on the stool over to the girl on the left (same reason as above) and tell her that she'll need those to see/find my wang later on that evening.
get down on knees and slurp spilled drink out of rug
then say hi awkwardly to ladies
Stab bartender in the eyes with the glasses, take both girls, bind the arms with your ties and gag them with the banana. Push both into the ladies washroom (after locking the door), and knock them out with the bar stool and have my way with the hotter one.
I'd apologize for dropping my bottle of chloroform and get out of there before the cops showed up... not that the bartender could do anything but mumble with his mouth sowed up like that.
Send the wingman in for a chop block on the sober friend. I would start to make out with the Elephant painting until the drunk girl came over and asked me what I was doing. Then I would tell her I was into animal type ladies and tell her, much like the elephant, she is just my type.
I'd start by jamming the banana on the bar in my own ass, to help clear the air of any awkward tension.
I would re-do my wing mans tie for him. It's way too short.
Suck the wingmans knob, broads love a fruit.
I would go to the bar and order a few drinks for the ladies. Then I would blatantly make fun of the bartender for NOT HAVING ANY HANDS. HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU BE A BARTENDER WITH NO HANDS?!?!?!
I would forget about wingman. Then I would just treat the entire bar like shit until one of the women eventually grabs me and whispers "You're such an asshole, but there's just something about you!", then procede dance with her all night, give her a fake name, age and occupation followed by an inevitable self-cockblock when I can barely stand (much less remember her name) at the end of the night. Wat.
lol Tucker Max
That is actually a transcript of my weekend. 2 nights in a row. It was a rough one. I'm not a closer.
what's it called? seems like a decent coffee table/bored on the bowl kinda book. lol
It's sitting on my coffee table. Not sure if this picture is in the book or not, never had a real chance to look through it, but the parts I did read were funny as fuck.
"Bro Code: How I met Your Mother"
"hey ladies, see that porker over there? that's my friend Rory."
"Haaaaaaaave you met Ted?"
I cockblocked myself like 3 times one night
Leave wingman, walk to the bar, sit on stool, put on glasses, look sophisticated, order drink, sit in despair, wait for either big boobed lady to approach, converse = WIN
Wingman, no care.
...rub the magic lantern on the bar, wish for 3some with big boobed ladies in ladies room behind them. Walk out of ladies room, grab elephant painting, sell on ebay. WIN + Profit = EPIC night
do wingmen even work?
I would wait until everyone left and then beat the shit out of the bartender and make him jerk me off and slip my penis in his ass. After I was done I would blow it all over his face.
Who's he gonna tell... his fucking mouth is stitched shut.