DON'T waste money on expensive iPods. Simply think of your favourite tune and hum it. If you want to "switch tracks", simply think of another song you like and hum that instead. DON'T waste money on expensive paper shredders to avoid having your identity stolen. Simply place a few dog turds in the bin bags along with your old bank statements. HOMEOWNERS: Prevent burglars stealing everything in the house by simply moving everything in the house into your bedroom when you go to bed. In the morning, simply move it all back again. SAVE money on expensive personalised car number plates by simply changing your name to match your existing plate. - Mr. KVL 741Y, DON'T waste money buying expensive binoculars; simply stand closer to the object you wish to view.