ingress helps you weather the economic downturn

Discussion in 'Reality Check' started by ingress, Feb 17, 2009.

  1. ingress

    ingress
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    DON'T waste money on expensive iPods. Simply think of your favourite tune and hum it. If you want to "switch tracks", simply think of another song you like and hum that instead.

    DON'T waste money on expensive paper shredders to avoid having your identity stolen. Simply place a few dog turds in the bin bags along with your old bank statements.

    HOMEOWNERS: Prevent burglars stealing everything in the house by simply moving everything in the house into your bedroom when you go to bed. In the morning, simply move it all back again.

    SAVE money on expensive personalised car number plates by simply changing your name to match your existing plate. - Mr. KVL 741Y,

    DON'T waste money buying expensive binoculars; simply stand closer to the object you wish to view.
     
  2. ingress

    ingress
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    AN empty aluminium cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes an inexpensive vibrator.

    SAVE electricity by turning off all the lights in your house and walking around wearing a miner's hat.
     
  3. ingress

    ingress
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    OLD telephone directories make ideal personal address books, simply cross out the names and address of people you don't know.

    SAVE on booze by drinking cold tea instead of whisky. The following morning you can create the effects of a hangover by drinking a thimble full of dish soap and banging your head repeatedly on the wall.
     
  4. ingress

    ingress
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    OLD people, if you feel cold indoors this winter, simply pop outside for ten minutes without a coat, when you go back inside you will really feel the benefit.

    CAN'T afford contact lenses? Simply cut out small circles of Saran Wrap and press them into your eyes.
     
  5. ingress

    ingress
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    WHY pay the earth for expensive jigsaws? Just take a bag of frozen fries from the freezer and try piecing together potatoes.
     
  6. Miss Shawty

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    To late ... :ohnoes:
     
  7. ingress

    ingress
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    MAKE your own inexpensive mints by leaving blobs of toothpaste to dry on a window sill. Use striped toothpaste to make fancy mints

    SHOPPERS, when buying oranges, get more for your money by peeling them before taking them to the counter to be weighed.
     
  8. ingress

    ingress
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    WOMEN: Don't waste energy faking orgasms. Most men couldn't care less anyway and you could use the saved energy to vacuum the house afterwards
     
  9. ingress

    ingress
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    SAVE a fortune on laundry bills. Give your dirty shirts to Frenchy's, they will wash and iron them and you can buy them back for a $1.
     
  10. Kaylahaha

    It's all good.

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  11. teal

    A Candy Cajolers Thrill

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  12. MRA

    MRA
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    :rofl:
     
  13. ingress

    ingress
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    Always poop at work thereby saving money on cleaning supplies and toilet paper

    Also use washroom at friends houses and brush and floss while your there
     
  14. ingress

    ingress
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    Make everyday a 2 for 1 at Sobeys, one in the shopping cart one in your coat pocket, stay reasonable Turkeys and club packs draw attention
     
  15. ingress

    ingress
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    if you need a new umbrella just go to the public Library (or any other high volume public place) tell them you lost your black umbrella chances are they will have a few pick the best one
     
  16. ingress

    ingress
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    Why pay for cable or a fancy new TV, just invite Kim over and have her explain things to you. KNN the Kim News Network
     
  17. CyberCX

    GIGGITY, GIGGITY, GIGGITY

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    :lol:
     

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