A good laugh

Discussion in 'Reality Check' started by b-bob, Mar 6, 2009.

  1. b-bob

    b-bob
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    I just stole this from Leanne's facebook notes and it's fun. Do it!

    Dear (friend),

    I don't really know how to tell you this, but (_1_) I think I realized it (_2_) (_3_) and I saw you (_4_) (_5_).
    I'm sure you're (_6_) enough to understand (_7_).
    I'm returning (_8_) to you, but I'll keep (_9_) as a memory.
    You should also know that I (_10_) and (_11_).

    (_12_)
    (your name)


    1. What's the colour of your shirt?
    Blue - Our romance is over
    Red - Our affair is over
    White – I’m joining the Convent
    Black - I dislike your eyelashes
    Green - Our socks don't match
    Grey - You're a pervert
    Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy
    Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
    Brown - The mafia wants you
    No shirt - You're mean
    Other - I'm in love with your cat

    2. Which is your birth month?
    January - That night you picked your nose
    February - Last year when you peed your pants
    March - When your dwarf bit me
    April - When I slipped in some peanut butter
    May - When I threw up in your sock drawer
    June - When you put cuffs on me
    July – When you smacked my ass
    August - When I saw the purple monkey
    September - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
    October - When I quoted Forest Gump
    November - When your dog humped my leg
    December - When I finally changed my underwear

    3. Which food do you prefer?
    Tacos - In your apartment
    Lasagna- In your car
    Pasta - Outside of your office
    Hamburgers - Under the bus
    Chicken – As you were eating Kraft Dinner
    Salad - In your closet
    Kebab - With Jean Chrétien
    Fish - In a clown suit
    Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert
    Pizza - At the mental hospital
    Hot dog - Under a street light
    Annat- With George Bush and Stephen Harper

    4. What's the colour of your socks?
    Yellow - Hit on
    Red - Insult
    Black - Ignore
    Blue - Knock out
    Purple - Pour syrup on
    White - Carve your initials into
    Grey - Pull the clothes off
    Brown - Put whipped cream on
    Orange - Castrate
    Pink - Pull the pants off of
    Barefoot - Sit on
    Other - Drive over

    5. What's the colour of your underwear?
    Black - My boyfriend
    White - My father
    Grey – The Catholic Priest
    Brown – Your ‘My Little Pony’ collection
    Purple - My corned beef hash
    Red – My knee caps
    Blue - My salt-beef bucket
    Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana
    Orange - My uterus
    Pink – The Montreal Canadian’s goalie
    None – My prized statue of Michael Jackson in the nude
    Other - The elephant in the corner

    6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
    Scrubs; Man
    O.C.; Emotional
    One Tree Hill; Open
    Heroes; Frostbitten
    Lost; High
    House; Sly
    Simpsons; Cowardly
    The news; Scarred
    Idol; Masochistic
    Family Guy; Senile
    Top Model; Middle-class
    Annat; Ashamed

    7. Your mood right now?
    Happy - How awful you are
    Sad - How boring you are
    Bored - That Santa doesn't exist
    Angry - That your smell makes me vomit
    Depressed – That we’re related
    Excited - That I may pee my pants
    Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you
    Worried - That your Ford sucks
    Apathetic - That you need a sex-change
    Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your earlobes
    Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men
    Silly - That there is no solution to you being a dumbass
    Other - That your driving sucks

    8. What's the colour of your walls in your bedroom?
    White - Your toe ring
    Yellow - Your love letters to me
    Red - Your Elton John poster
    Black - Your pet rock
    Blue - The couch cushions
    Green - The pictures from Vegas
    Orange - Your false teeth
    Brown - Your nose hair clippers
    Grey - Our matching snoopy underwear
    Purple - Your old New Kids on the Block blanket
    Pink - The cut toenails
    Other - Your car

    9. The first letter of your first name?
    A/B - Your photo with the moustache drawn on it
    C/D - The oil tank from your car
    E/F - Your neighbour’s dog and fish
    G/H - My virginity and your boxers
    I/J - The results of that blood-sample
    K/L - Your left ear and right shoe
    M/N - Your virginity
    O/P - My common sense
    Q/R - Your mom
    S/T - Your collection of butterflies
    U/V - Your criminal record
    W/X – Your glass eye
    Y/Z - Your credit cards

    10. The last letter in your last name?
    A/B - Told my psychiatrist about the bruises
    C/D - Never will forget that night
    E/F - Always wanted to break your legs
    G/H – Hate your cooking
    I/J – Mocked you behind your back constantly
    K/L - Will tell the authorities that you did not steal that whale in the back yard
    M/N - Told in my confession today about the moose poaching
    O/P - Was interviewed about the car you stole
    Q/R - Always will remember the pep talks
    S/T - Get sick when I think of your feet
    U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart
    W/X - Haven’t showered in a month
    Y/Z – Am better off without you

    11. What do you prefer to drink?
    Wine- Our friendship is ruined
    Juice – I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon
    Soda – I will haunt you when I’m incarnated as an Eskimo
    Milk - The apartment building is on fire
    Water – Thanks for the Cocaine
    Cider – I have a passionate interest for mice
    Soft drink – You ruined my attempts at another world war
    Mineral water – You should get that embarrassing rash checked
    Hot chocolate – Your Cucumber-fetishism is weird
    Whiskey - I love Oprah Winfrey
    Beer – I'm scratching my ass as you read this
    Other – you should stop picking your nose

    12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
    Thailand – Warm tingly sensations
    Australia - Best of luck with the sex change
    France - Love always
    Spain - Go drown yourself
    China – You make me sick
    Germany – Please don’t hurt me
    Greece - Go milk a cow
    Japan - Your everlasting enemy
    USA - Greetings to your frog Leonard
    Egypt –Kiss my ass
    England– With tears of sadness
     
  2. b-bob

    b-bob
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    Here's mine:

     
  3. SheOfManyChildren

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    Dear Robbie,

    I don't really know how to tell you this, but I dislike your eyelashes,I think I realized it Last year when you peed your pants in your apartment and I saw you pull the clothes off my boyfriend.

    I'm sure you're Masochistic enough to understand That I may pee my pants.
    I'm returning The pictures from Vegas to you, but I'll keep Your collection of butterflies as a memory.

    You should also know that I Get sick when I think of your feet and I will haunt you when I’m incarnated as an Eskimo.

    Go drown yourself,
    Tanya
     
  4. MikeM

    Member

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    Dear Carly:

    I don't really know how to tell you this, but I'm in love with your cat. I think I realized it when you put cuffs on me in your car and I saw you ignore my boyfriend.
    I'm sure you're sly enough to understand that Santa doesn't exist.
    I'm returning your car to you, but I'll keep your virginity as a memory.
    You should also know that I told in my confession today about the moose poaching and Our friendship is ruined.

    Kiss my ass
    Mike
     
  5. Elcoopto

    Well-Known Member

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    I don't really know how to tell you this, but The mafia wants you I think I realized it When you smacked my ass Outside of your office and I saw you Pull the clothes off The elephant in the corner.
    I'm sure you're Cowardly enough to understand That Santa doesn't exist.
    I'm returning to you The pictures from Vegas, but I'll keep My virginity and your boxers as a memory.
    You should also know that I Told in my confession today about the moose poaching and I'm scratching my ass as you read this.
     
  6. JoeLouie

    Well-Known Member

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    Dear Lori,

    I don't really know how to tell you this, but I dislike your eyelashes. I think I realized it when I finally changed my underwear at the mental hospital and I saw you sit on my uterus.
    I'm sure you're high enough to understand how awful you are.
    I'm returning your toe ring to you, but I'll keep the oil tank from your car as a memory.
    You should also know that I get sick when I think of your feet and you ruined my attempts at another world war.

    Love always,
    Chris
     
    Last edited: Mar 6, 2009
  7. DUKE

    Alfa as Fuck

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    gay
     
  8. Elcoopto

    Well-Known Member

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  9. DUKE

    Alfa as Fuck

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    what da?????
     
  10. DUKE

    Alfa as Fuck

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    fag
     
  11. DUKE

    Alfa as Fuck

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    this is fun
     
  12. Levon

    Active Member

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    Dear Chris,

    I don't really know how to tell you this, but you're mean. I think I realized it last year when you peed your pants outside of your office and I saw you sit on my corned beef hash.
    I'm sure you're high enough to understand that there is no solution to you being a dumbass.
    I'm returning your car to you, but I'll keep your left ear and right shoe as a memory.
    You should also know that I will tell the authorities that you did not steal that whale in the back yard and the apartment building is on fire.

    With tears of sadness,
    Lori
     
  13. hank

    Well-Known Member

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    Dear Barack,

    I don't really know how to tell you this, but the mafia wants you. I think I realized it When your dog humped my leg outside of your office and I saw you Put whipped cream on The elephant in the corner.
    I'm sure you're Senile enough to understand That you need a sex-change.
    I'm returning Your toe ring to you, but I'll keep My virginity and your boxers as a memory.
    You should also know that I Will tell the authorities that you did not steal that whale in the back yard and I'm scratching my ass as you read this.

    Best of luck with the sex change,
    Hank
     
  14. jspurr

    Well-Known Member

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    Dear Koren,

    I don't really know how to tell you this, but I dislike your eyelashes. I think I realized it When you smacked my ass Under the bus and I saw you Carve your initials into The elephant in the corner.
    I'm sure you're Senile enough to understand That The middle-east is planning their revenge on you.
    I'm returning The couch cushions to you, but I'll keep he results of that blood-sample as a memory.
    You should also know that I Get sick when I think of your feet and I'm scratching my ass as you read this.

    Best of luck with the sex change
    Spurr
     
  15. becca

    :)

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    Dear Chelsey,

    I don't really know how to tell you this, but our affair is over. I think I realized it when you smacked my ass outside your office and I saw you sit on my illegitimate child in Ghana.
    I'm sure you're senile enough to understand that your driving sucks.
    I'm returning the couch cushions to you, but I'll keep your mom as a memory.
    You should also know that I get sick when I think of your feet and thanks for the cocaine.

    Go milk a cow,
    Becca
     
  16. Mystik

    New Member

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    I don't really know how to tell you this, but I dislike your eyelashes. I think I realized it when I quoted Forest Gump in your car and I saw you Ignore the Catholic Priest. I'm sure you're sly enough to understand how awful you are. I'm returning your toe ring to you, but I'll keep your left ear and right shoe as a memory. You should also know that I told in my confession today about the moose poaching and thanks for the Cocaine.

    Your everlasting enemy,

    Kevin


    :rofl:
     
  17. Daver

    Well-Known Member

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    Dear Jeebus,

    I don't really know how to tell you this, but You're a pervert I think I realized it When I threw up in your sock drawer Outside of your office and I saw you Knock out My prized statue of Michael Jackson in the nude.
    I'm sure you're High enough to understand That Santa doesn't exist.
    I'm returning Your car to you, but I'll keep The oil tank from your car as a memory.
    You should also know that I Always will remember the pep talks and I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon.

    Best of luck with the sex change
    Me
     
  18. unidentifiable

    meow

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    Go milk a cow?
    ouch Becca
     
  19. thunder

    my av is me

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    Dear My Lovely RC Slutbags,

    I don't really know how to tell you this, but our romance is over. I think I realized it when I slipped in some peanut butter at the mental hospital and I saw you sit on my boyfriend.

    I'm sure you're senile enough to understand the middle-east is planning their revenge on you.
    I'm returning your toe ring to you, but I'll keep your collection of butterflies as a memory.
    You should also know that I get sick when I think of your feet and I will haunt you when I’m incarnated as an Eskimo.

    Go milk a cow,
    Thunder
     
  20. Benedict

    Formerly Topdawgg

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    Dear Jspurr,

    I don't really know how to tell you this, but Our romance is over. I think I realized it When we skinny dipped in the bathtub, In your apartment and I saw you pull the clothes off My boyfriend.
    I'm sure you're Cowardly enough to understand That Santa doesn't exist.
    I'm returning Your nose hair clippers to you, but I'll keep Your mom as a memory.
    You should also know that I Told my psychiatrist about the bruises and I'm scratching my ass as you read this.

    Best of luck with the sex change,
    Benny
     
  21. Bean

    Breasts

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    Dear Stephen,

    I don't really know how to tell you this, but our socks don't match. I think I realized it when I saw the purple monkey in your apartment and I saw you carve your initials into my knee caps. I'm sure you're scarred enough to understand that I get turned on by garbage men. I'm returning your toe ring to you but I'll keep your photo with the moustache drawn on it as a memory. You should also know that I always wanted to break your legs and the apartment is on fire.


    Best of luck with the sex change,

    Amy


    :rofl:

    I just text messaged Stephen with the letter and bolded the last line about breaking his legs and the apartment being on fire. :lol:
     
    Last edited: Mar 8, 2009
  22. Kay

    Kay
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    :ugh2:

    :bigup:
     

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