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2021

Discussion in 'Reality Check' started by David Puddy, Dec 31, 2021.

  1. David Puddy

    yeah, that's right

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    what were the cliff notes on your year?
    was it good, medium, tragic in any way, did you come out better or worse?

    I got married, found out i'm having a second daughter, put in a hot tub, and lost 50lbs. In a nutshell.
    oh and today i ran my first half marathon.
     
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  2. BlackFire

    Professional napper

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    This was a hard year for me.

    I lost my sister-in-law to cancer in February and inherited her young Chocolate Lab at Easter.

    A week later we lost one of our older dogs, Sydney, to a bone marrow / blood disorder, She had just turned 14 in February.

    In the summer I learned my cancer from 4 years ago had come back. Had surgery to have the tumor and all non required parts removed - Lost 40 pounds due to pressure from tumor and surgery. I will need surgery in the late spring/early summer to try to extend the time before it comes back again.

    In December, lost the littermate of the dog we lost just after Easter, Jessie. She was 14 1/2 and just couldn't get around anymore. We took her in three years ago when her owner passed away. We honestly didn't expect her to outlive Sydney.

    The only high point was the love of Bailey, our young Black Lab we got 1 year and a half ago to help us deal with loosing all our old pets. We now only have two ancient ones left. Midnight, Black Lab, is coming up on 14 1/2 and Lawrence, Tabby Cat, will be 20 in April. We lost his sister, Maddie, last December.

    The younglings, Bailey, Black Lab, will be 2 in February and Meeko, Chocolate Lab, who just turned 2 in the summer have become very attached to one another. So again we have Labs that are very close in age growing old together.
     
  3. Grifter

    Bluh?

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    Shit year. My marriage ended after 10 years. Covid. Election. Covid. Covid. Covid. Now it's the 5th wave of Covid. My mum has breast cancer, we started the chemo for that last month. It's really taking a toll on her. Plus, just read that we lost Betty White. Fuck 2021. :happysad:
     
    Last edited: Dec 31, 2021
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  4. C. Mike Hunt

    Well-Known Member

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    Fuck man. I'm sorry. :hugs:
     
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  5. KMD

    KMD
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    Shit year, still haven't been able to have a celebration of life for my nephew who passed away in Dec 2019 just before the pandemic hit but we were planning to celebrate in the summer of 2020 due to the location and it's easier to travel in summer and we have been trying and hoping every summer there would be a chance.
    I had a change of meds that really improved my mood my pain levels have not really changed but the being in a better mood helps a lot. Nobody wants angry boing around.
    The government has really pissed me off a lot but that's normal o matter who is in. But the OIC gun ban was the big one for me and the useless election that no one wanted that did nothing. :curse:
    Yes and Betty White passing today :(
     
  6. HairyAss

    Cheese on Toast

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    I started turning my own life around in April - quit drinking (I’m an addict, this was a big one for me), started intermittent fasting, and getting into shape. I’m down around 50 pounds, have done a 100 mile bike ride, got back into running shape with a half marathon and my first ever marathon. Mentally, I feel like I’m on an amazing path - have my life back in some semblance of a plan heading into 2022. At work, I also managed to maneuver myself into a new role. I’ve enjoyed the role I had for 5 years but 5 years in the same role is a lot for me and I needed the change.

    Lots of other stuff with family, etc, but focusing on “me”, that’s a good cliff’s notes.
     
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  7. HairyAss

    Cheese on Toast

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    And, fuck cancer. We escaped it’s icy grip this year in our family (outside of my brother who has long term cancer) but … fuck cancer.
     
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  8. HairyAss

    Cheese on Toast

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    Hypo Half?
     
  9. Grifter

    Bluh?

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    Can only get better! I can admit it was a shit year but I'm still standing. Boys are adjusting well after she moved out... and my moms doctor says she should be fine after the chemo, then mastectomy and local radiation. Type she has is commonly beat! Glass is lower than usual but still half full!
     
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  10. Wayne

    1%er

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    GrifterGrifter and KMDKMD ... Sorry to hear, hope 2022 is better for you both

    HairyAssHairyAss ... Nice work, sounds like a ton of positives

    For myself...had my boy shortly before 2021, it was massive learning experience, completely underestimated the time and patience required, but absolutely enjoyed every moment of his growth. Love him like nothing else.

    Success at work, launched successful products I was lead on for architecture, huge growth slated for 2022.

    Not sure what 2022 holds but I do plan on diving into doing a YouTube channel on programming...challenge myself in a new way. Hopefully COVID fucks off. Also, I concur with others...fuck cancer.
     
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  11. Grifter

    Bluh?

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    Wait wait wait.... KMD is Boing???? He just admitted it guys! GUYS!!!!
     
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  12. 17

    17
    teenage dirtbag

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    Pretty good year tbh

    New house, had a kid, work has been insanely busy

    really hoping for a bit more of a relaxing 2022
     
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  13. Matt30

    Well-Known Member

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    Twas a decent year for me but not perfect by any means.

    I made a big change with work in January which got me out of working in peoples homes. There was too much fucking around with covid and people being untruthful about their travel history just to get me in their driveway. So switching things up made going to work less stressful now that there’s times I go 3-4 days without even speaking to another human.

    I did lose one of my pets unexpectedly in January as well which still hurts. Rest In Peace Oliver.

    Besides that, watching my puppy become a dog has been very rewarding and helped get through things for sure. The rest of the year was very routine up until Saras grandfathers passing in November. At that time I was in the middle of recovering from my second concussion in 3 months, so a lot of things around the situation are kind of fuzzy to me. Still dealing with some post concussion issues and it appears tinnitus is going to be permanent which sucks, but I’ll adjust.

    So a few curve balls this year, but not too bad all things considered. I hope 2022 is a better year for those of you grieving right now. :hugs:
     
  14. Grifter

    Bluh?

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    Jumanji! Welcome to the next level! Here you will find 29 more years of Trudeau and 36 more years of Covid. You will no longer encounter the fever, flu or common cold. Strept throat and chicken pox are also defeated! May you get 16 more vaccines and a booster shot every 3 months. In the end we may all appear like Vincent Donofrios character in "Men In Black" and our children will all be home schooled. It may all seem not worth it, but all will line up willingly to get our food stamps and get in the trucks willingly to be taken to the *train station*. Jumanji everyone!
     
  15. KMD

    KMD
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    Happy New Year
    I did have some positive.
    Last summer I started competing in 2 new to me SHOOTING SPORTS. I knew the guy running them from the cowboy club and all I needed was a semi-auto 22 rifle and a pistol BINGO I am shooting. :elgranto:It was nice to get out and see other people and do something I enjoy.
    The other SPORT I started is Steel Challenge, same guns plus center fire pistols/revolvers and pistol caliber carbines #PewPew :guns:
    I am not winning but I am having fun. Here is a rare picture of me from the last steel challenge match of the year, and my first one, it was a blast. The only down side of doing this is the down time involved after a day of shooting.
    [​IMG]
    Shit you got me :lol: I hope Boots doesn't find out
     
    Last edited: Jan 1, 2022
  16. Cheddar

    Red is the New Green

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    Unless you actually ran in an election, I can’t imagine factoring in the results when looking back on your year. It’s probably sadder than factoring in how your favourite sports team did.
     
  17. Grifter

    Bluh?

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    Never seen such a short barrel on a 10/22. What model is that? Or is it modified?
     
    Last edited: Jan 3, 2022
  18. J0e Th0rnton

    Active Member

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    2021 was a good year for me in some ways. Half the year being paid to stay home and play video games with my kids and get a bunch of home reno projects I had materials but no time for done.

    I saved a shit ton of money being laid off for 5 months. Strange as that sounds. When you don't need to pay $1500 a month in Daycare bills, gas and monthly parking downtown to keep working, even if you make less than usual on EI, it still ends up being a significant chunk of change saved. It was the first time in my life I ever needed to use EI and I am in my 40's so I was nervous as hell until I realized this was a golden opportunity to put a dent in our debt. Naturally my wife saw that extra money and started planning how to spend it until I shut her down lol.
     
  19. KMD

    KMD
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    It's a modified Ruger 10/22 with a Dlask 12.5" barrel, Hogue OverMolded stock and some polishing and sights and some other do dads, still a non restricted rifle.
     
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  20. TheOldskoo

    Huzzah!

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    WTF is it about them that they are programmed to spend more than what's coming in!? I constantly have to contain my wife from not buying a bunch of whatever and some of it she does anyway :lol:

    As for the year, it's been alright. Everyone needs more data/internet for everything so I've been busier than ever for work. Starting to get harder to find time for everything as our parents are starting to slow down due to having beaten their bodies with work over the last 40-45 years.. and grandparents that are still alive are declining quickly. Little girl almost 3 and learning lots.
     
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  21. KLD

    KLD
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    Got pregnant, had a baby in September. The joy has been overtaken by postpartum depression and anxiety, unfortunately, and feeling like I will never get the hang of motherhood. Information overload from the net has fueled this. It started innocently looking for tips because I felt so clueless and without instincts regarding the baby but now I feel like my brain is broken and I overanalyze everything I do/don't do with her. It sucks :(. She is adorable and I love her, but I thought I would just adapt and I haven't and it makes me feel like I shouldn't have done this...it's a crappy way to feel. I'm on meds and therapy but it's still rough, even though I have a supportive partner and family. I'm such a routine person and struggling to form one with the baby. People tell me I need to go with the flow but I don't know how. I feel so lost and like I will never feel normal again. I always assume something is wrong with her health/development wise, or that she doesn't nap enough even though she sleeps well at night...blah blah blah.

    Anyway, she needs me and I need to keep showing up every day, so I will, and hopefully over time it will get better.
     
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  22. Matt30

    Well-Known Member

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    Fear of this was the exact reason since day one, I made sure my wife’s finances, and my finances were seperate. I have my bank account for my savings and bills, she has hers for the same, and the joined bank account we both supply for household bills and savings.

    Last year I decided to blow a bunch of money on hockey gear and all the guys were like “what did your wife think of that!?”….and my reply is always well it’s my money, why should she care? Same as when she went out and bought her brand new SUV….she can spend all the money she wants, as long as she keeps pumping money into the household bills and savings, I don’t care what she buys with her own money.

    I’m such a micromanager honestly it probably saved the marriage
     
  23. 17

    17
    teenage dirtbag

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    You’re like my wife. She’s a hard data, by the book, routine driven person who needs to follow an instruction manual for everything down to the letter. Unfortunately on social media there’s a ton of conflicting info on what to do, not to do and it borderlines shaming new moms if they’re doing/ not doing X thing for their child and i can definitely see it affecting her in a negative way sometimes.

    If your kid is happy, healthy and has what she needs then you guys are doing fine
     
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  24. Boots

    www.reality-check.ca

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    Hang in there. My daughter is 11 and I still question myself all the time on if I'm parenting correctly. I think that feeling is what guides us to do the right thing!
     
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  25. Gerald

    Well-Known Member

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    The best advice that got me through the first four months was the the first four months are the absolute worst. It's awful, nothing happens the way it should. No one is sleeping. Meals don't happen. You're dragging butt all day every day. Plus, you're doing it all through covid.

    You've made it this far and the light is at the end of the tunnel.

    The day your baby hits 4 months, sleep train. It's life changing. I can send you a pdf of an AWESOME sleep training guide if you'd like.

    2021 was a good year. Work was awful for a whole host of reasons, but I had a great personal year. We sold our house and made out like bandits. Built a new house that's ~1000sqft bigger than the old one for the same price. Put in a pool and hot tub. We made some decisions to be more environmentally responsible but getting solar set up at our new house and we're awaiting the arrival of our new electric car. Our 2 year old is gaining a tonne of independence. It's been good.
     
    Last edited: Jan 3, 2022
  26. TheOldskoo

    Huzzah!

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    We do this by my own choice.. people might question that but if we didn't do that then we would live paycheque to paycheque no matter how much money we made. This way all the savings are there and if I have to toss 100-200 at something not mine every so often.... meh. I don't ever spend more than 25 bucks without saying something about it to be sure we're clear about what's what.
     
  27. 17

    17
    teenage dirtbag

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    Pm me a copy of that sleep guide if you don’t mind
     
  28. KLD

    KLD
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    Thank you. It's just hard to feel that way and the other issue is that because of all the anxiety and stress and realizing how much work a baby is (not that I thought it would be easy), it makes me regret doing this and I wonder if I'll ever get used to it. I would love a concrete instruction manual for my baby, haha. My sister in law has two kids, including one baby, and she goes about her business, gets shit done, has pets, etc and I'm struggling with one. Makes me feel incompetent. I do have a supportive partner and it's still hard. I have trouble making decisions like do I try to get her to extend this nap? Say screw it, be awake then? Ughhhhh. I also have no idea when she is hungry as she gives no obvious cues so I'm like well it's been a few hours...here's a bottle, I guess. haha.
     
  29. KLD

    KLD
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    Thank you. The thing is, she already sleeps through the night pretty much but with my anxiety and I think a side effect of the meds, I sleep worse than her at night, haha. But I worry it's because she's just crashing from not napping much in the day. I read about the hours of sleep a baby needs and even with her awesome nights she is below what she should be getting so I worry it's hurting her brain, and that I'm missing the right times to get her to sleep and that she's chronically overtired. It's a horrible way to feel! Does sleep training include for naps as well? Daytime is my main issue right now...better than night, I suppose, but it makes a really long day when baby is awake probably a lot longer than she should be. She's actually pretty chill and is okay with being put down on a playmat or swing....but I feel guilty for not always watching her to catch her tired signs. I'm an insane person, lol. I do have a consultation with a sleep consultant in a couple days but my husband is skeptical as he thinks the work involved with tracking stuff is going to drive me crazier than I already am. I'm also torn between wanting a routine/schedule but also getting to live life at least a little bit. Like I struggle to decide when to take her out for a walk or go visit family/friends because I'm not sure how/if she will sleep while doing it.
     
  30. HairyAss

    Cheese on Toast

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    KLDKLD - the advice here is good but please take care of yourself. Post Partum is serious and you should be talking to someone (a professional). I know too many moms who recognized what they were going through but struggled without getting help. I assume the anxiety you’re mentioning was a known problem before having the baby so you are probably all too familiar and tired of all of this. Random Internet strangers giving advice and encouragement probably isn’t helpful.

    I say all of this sending positive vibes your way. I’m the dad of a 17 & 15 year old - the parenting struggles are real! You can do it - but you need to take care of yourself first!!
     
  31. KLD

    KLD
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    Thank you! I am doing counselling and following up with my family doctor. I had some minor anxiety before baby, but nothing like this. It was more just classic worry wort type stuff, I would anticipate things ending up worse than they were, especially at work or something. It's so much worse with the baby because I thought I'd be able to read her better but I'm just guessing every day, feeling guilty over every thing, and everything feels daunting. I can't imagine ever working out or meal prepping again like I used to. My thoughts are ruled by thinking about naps! At the end of the day, I know things will end up okay but it's just hard to picture it when every day goes by and it feels the same, not getting better. I feel okay for a bit at night after she goes to bed, which I feel guilty about because it's only because I can feel like I don't have a baby for a little while. She's so cute and I love her....but had I known I'd feel this way, I don't think I'd do it. Makes me feel like a monster because my husband is so over the moon with her and wouldn't go back for anything, yet I would.
     
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  32. HairyAss

    Cheese on Toast

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    You’re not alone in your overwhelmed thoughts. My oldest was pretty much a perfect baby which led to baby #2 and she has been a non-stop struggle. I love her to the moon and back but definitely have had the “what the fuck did we do” thoughts. It’s natural when you’re struggling. It’s one of the reasons I’ve signed off Facebook this year - non-stop posts from others about their perfect lives with their perfect children. Of course, if you have a real conversation with them, the truth comes out but online with Covid and not really seeing people made it seem like we were the only ones struggling.

    You’ve got this, one day at a time. Get some help, take a hot bath, and things will get better!
     
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  33. KLD

    KLD
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    Thank you! My husband is very hands on, which is great, although we disagree about the sleep stuff. He thinks her being awake most of the day is fine but I really feel like she should get more rest. On the other hand...I know I can't really make a baby do anything, but I keep thinking I'm missing something that would work better. I do have a babysitter, a friend's mom who loves babies, coming this week to watch her for a few hours. I'm not even sure what I will do but hopefully it will me to have a break. Although she didn't seem to think sleep was a problem either so she's probably not going to get her to nap, either, and I'll be worried about that too, haha. It never ends.
     
  34. Cheddar

    Red is the New Green

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    What you should do, is anything you want. Staying at home with a new baby is psychologically destroying. You’re basically on a blind date with someone all day every day, who won’t talk to you and just loses their mind whenever the hell they fell like it, and when you ask what’s wrong, you’re basically told to shut the fuck up and stick your boob in their face. Covid has made things even harder for you. Parent groups are valuable but those are limited. The library does book readings/sing alongs every few days over zoom that are worth looking into. Swimming lessons are great once it warms up. As much as I hate Facebook there are some groups that once you find your way through the mama bear bs there are discussions that can be very valuable. As for sleep/naps/feedings my wife used to and still uses an app to help track things. You can also use their recommendations to set schedules but you don’t have to. The one she used actually was bang on for when our daughter would be tired and hungry. Maybe it was luck but she still uses it to track everything going in and coming out which makes things easier for Drs appointments. In only a few short months your daughter will start to show her true personality and it will make it much easier to see her as a person rather than just some baby sucking up all your resources. Look forward to the different milestones but don’t get caught up on them. My wife was terrified our daughter was under weight and too short. Turns out she was in the 95 percentile for height, 85th for weight. Also remember there are things you can influence and things you can’t. Don’t get hung up on the latter.
     
  35. KLD

    KLD
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    Thank you. I agree, being at home all the time hasn't been good for me. I know those are the things I need to do, but they all feel so daunting. Even doing shit around the house while she's awake, even if she's content, feels hard. Going to try to take baby steps. The idea of getting her out for a swimming lesson seems impossible with the way I'm feeling. I do sometimes get out for drives, walks, or visiting family but that has decreased over time due to worrying about how she will sleep the whole time. I hope I can get there. Unfortunately breastfeeding didn't work out for me so I'm bottle feeding, so that can make things more annoying for being on the go rather than just being able to whip out the boob. I thought maybe using the apps would drive me crazy but I'm already neurotic about this stuff anyway, so maybe the apps would help!
     

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